You don't need to try, it's already about you.

2007-04-22T21:52:00.000+08:00

School. Bowling. PJ Live. Debate. Its all kinda overwhelming. Not stressful though...I'm David and I don't get stressed. Mildly pressuring I must say. Its a good thing debate's over...hopefully.*crosses fingers*. However it sucks hard that I'm sort of inadequate at almost everything. Jack of all trades as they say. I've had Bernard tell me its all sorted out and stuff, guess its just me and my inferiority complex. Or maybe I've just been myself for too long.....all slack and never putting in what I should be putting in. I seriously wanna put more into my life, understanding econs, getting that 180-190 average as opposed to my present 160 average not screwing up my riffs and all. But I just never could get off my lazy ass to do something about it. I wanna change man, seriously~ even if I get laughed at or whatever. At least I won't regret not being the person I'm supposed to be the day I die.

This is a 100% cover up for the fact that I a born one~

2007-03-09T22:01:00.000+08:00

I'm so emo.

Lo and behold~

2007-03-06T08:17:00.000+08:00

Got posted to PJC(arts). Duh~ I could actually not log into the MOE site. Just head down to PJ tomorrow and I would already have been be registered there. I sound totally enthu about this...

emo is just a mtherfking buzzword~

2007-03-04T21:35:00.000+08:00

Going to Pioneer JC soon, most probably, definitely not a matter of choice. I gonna let the cat out of the bag: I'm freaking scared. Scared of the fact that PJ is the "second" BP. No secret that my secondary school day were my worse, and the notion of going back to same culture just freaks me out. MI has been surreal, like a whole 8 weeks of fantasy, an escape from responsibility and mundane stuff like homework and stuff. We pretty much did what ever the fuck we wanted. But through this joyrous period of time, no sarcasm intended, remmants of what I was. I can't seem to forget the sort of self destructive person I was in the past. Not an extreme case for sure, no wrist cutting involved, but I tortured myself enough. I've sorta got over that phrase of life I guess....but I know I was just responding to the people I got involved with. In a nutshell, it motherfucking sucked. Don't wanna thread out of the shadows just to be sucked straight back in. We don't arrive without a surprise, trying to fill that void, trying to conform, trying to be accepted, trying to wade in assurance, but really......I'm just a motherfucking case study of rare species too weird to live but too precious to die.

dead!

2007-02-08T20:30:00.000+08:00

Haven't posted in a really long time. I'm currently "studying" in MI. Notice the inverted commas. School life there is really different from JC life, or so I heard. Everyday is the skipping tutorials and lectures, playing ball and chilling out with friends and classmates, quite monotonous in a sense. But the whole experience just differs from the years in bpghs, in a sense that I've somehow managed to open up alot more, gain some insight on what its like to be that kind of person. Enriching in its own way I guess. Just hope my results don't screw...Arrgh. The thought of what comes tomorrow. Well, all the best to you people receiving results tomorrow.....Ciao.

random, as always.

2006-12-10T18:53:00.000+08:00

I registered for this "insert whatever you want" here and asked the lady behind the counter what did I have to bring. She said, "Come as you are." Why in all of Earth and Hell can I get these four words from someone I've met for the first time but not from the "friends" and "family" that I see everyday? Am I not the one who they claim to know best? Nobody realises the fact that they are at every point of time being judgemental and critical, trying to identify the bitches who are going to make their asses look like they have got the latest bling-bling. Notice I use the word "realise". Sounds like something out of a primary school vocabulary book or something. Thats how stupid homo sapiens can get. "I'm super-frustrated. I wanna cut myself. Why can anybody understand what I'm going through? I wanna be the most emo/jockish/depressed/popular fuck there is. Why can't I? And I wanna go play Welcome to my Life by Simple Plan and whine to it." Just shut the fuck up. Don't give me your whiney ass crap. Your every post on your blogs should be like mine, fuckers. Use a little bit of brain here. Okay, whatever man. Total crap here. Badass fuckhole shit. Now thats better. Painted a Beautiful picture. :x

Prom

2006-12-01T07:44:00.000+08:00

The last gathering of the class of 2006, more or less so to speak. Guess I expected the whole thing to invoke nostalgia and regrets and stuff. Fell short of expectations, the whole issue, but I was glad. Glad for once emotions didn't take me. Good to be in control. I so didn't want to build a time machine and go back just to right the wrongs. The whole time was fun, fun meaning the sort of obessesion people indulge in inflating their egos and trying to blend in, not to bad all. And I'm not been sarcastic. One of my better days for sure.

Post-O Levels

2006-11-23T23:16:00.000+08:00

I need people to hook me up. Its holidays right? Besides working, playing guitar and sleeping I actually need some social activity? Ballers, rockers and fags out there....By the way, there plenty of stuff to blog about now. Lots and lots of it. But its not the time. Time to relax now...so lets just forget the pain and suffering that's packaged with life.

No time....

2006-11-06T17:06:00.000+08:00

SS wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Gonna mug for geog. Visitors link please, just leave you're address and I'll link you up after exams. All the best to those mid-way through the final lap!

Blue and Yellow

2006-11-04T12:39:00.000+08:00

It's difficult not to identify with anyone, not to belong anywhere and yet lacking the intiative to reach out and beg as a scavenger should. Misconceptions and doubts. My fucking paranoid ass isn't making things any easier. Everyday, every second I breathe. It really, really sucks. Its like not finding it no matter what you would give to get. Yeah, that's how fucking let-down I am by relationships. I'm just melodramatic, isolated and bloody weird. Isn't it. People do stereotyping all the time, but I'm just a label-less, broken, "what-the-hell-you-call-this-shit?". I just can't stand you, so dont force it. Or you're going down with me. Cause part of you is exactly like me, just search for it like I did, and the pits' ours. Anyway, you fucks want a rational, joyrous teeny-bopper, you've got one: 'O's not as bad as I expected. Practicals, chinese and literature were good. Good to say goodbye forever to secondary school chinese and Krishna and co.. Like two weeks later, I'm gonna post some shit that the chapter's closed. Gonna play ball, work, jam with those idiots, just do stuff to keep my mind occupied. Sounds decent..... But I've still gotta hold it all inside. and it's all in how you mix the twoand it starts just where the light existsit's a feeling that you cannot missand it burns a holethrough everyone that feels itwell your never gonna find itif your looking for itwon't come your waywell you'll never find itif your looking for itshould've done something but I've done it enoughby the way your hands were shakingrather waste some time with youand you never would have thought in the endhow amazing it feels just to live againit's a feeling that you cannot missit burns a hole through everyone that feels itshould've said something but I've said it enoughby the way my words were fadedrather waste some time with you.

poseur alert!

2006-10-04T16:01:00.000+08:00

I get you now, dude. These poseur christians, holier-than-thou, I-wanna-give-salvation-to-mankind shits are getting on my nerves. They blog about their 'spiritual' lives, their 'faith' journeys and and every other little thing they do 'for' christ. I've seen more crap than the real deal. Don't have to plaster your God-fearing crap all over the Net and stick to only Christians, then tell the world you got the LOVE, L-O-V-E. He doesn't want you poseurs to do advertisements or commercials for him. Keep it real, feel people, don't inflate your own egos. Not qualified to say this, but its the truth. I'm being judgemental here, but fuck it.

bfmv has just made my day....

2006-09-19T10:40:00.000+08:00

Shirley's pictures. I'm that retarded hoodie guy. B and B picture long over due. Conformity is really getting to me in the form of 'O's and other stuffs. Appears that in Singapore there only one way to go, more or less. I can go with the flow, just that I can't stop wondering why He has put me in a system where I just gotta sell out. Part of obedience and leaving everything to His good hands. He works in wonderful ways. I've made to many mistakes, sticking with people whose only intent is....relentless degrading and saving their own painted faces. You know who are, just don't pretend you're much better than me, just scamper back to your clique. I'm over you, don't pretend that I'm not. Guess it doesn't hurt to give way sometimes. Now, is your time to die. We've gathered here to say goodbye. No, more, you'll cry. No reason left for you to fight. Feel, pain, no more. Emotions never felt before. Where, do, we go. We go, she'll never know. Holding on to you, to keep from falling. Your eyes are closing now. Another chapter's ending. Hard, times, we always saw. There's nothing left of you no more. Fear, has, no place, no place. Cover her face. Holding on to you, to keep from falling. Your eyes are closing now. Another chapter's ending. This is our last goodbye (goodbye!). This is our time tonight. Holding on to you!Cover up her face! Holding on to you... To keep from falling!Holding on to you, to keep from falling. Your eyes are closing now. Another chapter's ending. This is our last goodbye (goodbye!)This is our time tonight (goodbye!) This is our last goodbye!

Retarded.

2006-09-07T22:55:00.001+08:00

This is cool,man. I like posting this shit just as my mom's lecturing me. Guess what? If i can't get into Poly or JC i gotta go ITE. Duh. If I fuck up, my parents wanna go fuck somewhere else. Duh. My Dad needs to fuck off and die soon. Duh. This is reality, all reality. Duh. Please do something now to help yourself. Duh. Don't speak vulgarities. Duh. Don't say Fuck. Duh. I'm your mother. How can you say fuck to my face. Duh. Do your part for the family. Duh. Fuck it man. She should just put herself into some shithole and do herself. She quoting some verse from the bible now. Can't take this shit. Though it's cool she doesn't know I'm typing this crap. Stoopid. Utterly. Totally screwed up life I have. DragonForce rules by the way, Herman Li's like my new idol. I thought he was having lunch when he belted out his stuff on "Through the Fire and Flames". I wanna shred like that guy. Maybe I'll reach his standard if I play 24/7 for the next decade. All right man!I found you here, so please just wait for awhile. I can go on with you around. (A melody, a memory, or just a picture.)

Nothing else matters.

2006-08-31T12:27:00.000+08:00

Just had the performance. I fucked up. But people said it was good. Now, all I wanna do is bawl. I don't like this response at all. Just how long more before everything lets up, gives way. I don't have a clue why I have to kill, but I want to. I wanna demolish this shithole, and have everybody know I'm the one who did it. Fuck you bastards. I'm gonna castrate all of you. Scout's honour.

Random, not for the sake of it.

2006-08-25T13:06:00.000+08:00

Things may be shaping up a little and it happens that I'm not the only one filled with uncertainty, devoid of any trace of self-control. Its strange why we can never get ourselves to do the minimal that we should do, and not sell ourselves over and over again. Okay, so people go like, "Look who's talking." This is just self-assessment, like you're much better off anyway? Too, recently I've been told that I'm emu...wait, emo.(ahem.) Like duh I'm not. I don't get pissed off when someone doesn't reply me, then get pissed off again when someone says something to my face. Nor do I act like a total recluse or some really depressed kid. Nor am i cliquish. Anyway, emo is for poseurs. I dig MCR and The Used because they are underground. Get your facts right.

Blogging?

2006-08-05T21:53:00.000+08:00

David decides not to use the letter between 'h' and 'g' too much and not to blog too much. Bloggers self-advertise. They reason, they complain, and paint very unnatural pictures of their seeming meaningless and excruciatingly painful lives. From the sermon delivered today, David realises the pressure we youths put on ourselves to portray the stereotypes we try to be. Many try to create a very dark overview of their lives, just don't get David started on the effects that take place in their lives when they live out their blogs. So...its an irony that David also practises the art of self-advertisement right. David admits this need for attention and an avenue to dispose of various thoughts. However, David can choose to have the audience of the King of kings, to whom David will be "blogging" to very frequently in the future(hopefully). Blogs can't solve problems, but He can. Teck Liang said blogging's a waste of time because no one is going to take genuine interest in your life. Couldn't have said it better. Contradictions, contradications........

2006-07-22T19:25:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I was an ass at the musical. Had fun, it was pretty ok,but I just felt even more alone. Guess its just me. Just cover it up, nothing is really worth looking for anyway. We slog for answers, and look to the sky for them. We find them, but they go as fast as they come. Guess it pays to draw first blood after all.

Just scream, thats the only language understandable.

2006-07-19T12:40:00.000+08:00

There the school's musical later. And I'm not the least excited, not now at least. Anyway whatever I do or wear, the finger-pointing will still come. Talking is just a waste of time and living is just a waste of death. So its you just and me, and me and you, until we got nothing left. So troubled by what I've done and whats to come, I can't think of anything else.

Not Enough of Everything.

2006-07-13T22:16:00.000+08:00

Its like I don't seem to have enough of every fucking thing labeled with existance on the planet. I wouldn't want anyone thinking that I am materialistically-challeged. I am. Just that its not sufficiently pathetic to give me "bragging" rights or to get financial subidies from school and reflect the real financial state of my family. Neither do I have........well, alot of things. So this brings about the really emo question: Why is it that we believe having all the material bling-bling and gizmos and hot friends and girlfriends that makes us what we want to be? Yeah, take awhile to digest the question, its takes one to understand one. Maybe I don't see the orgasm brought about by being all sexy and popular, but if everyone wants to lead the feel-good life, why ask the question anyway? But considering the fact that I am still under poverty and have no means to get myself out of it, I probably should just continue the "chinese-thrash" shit, and try to just make a mess out of myself, cause thats all I got to mess with. Don't see sexy when I look in the mirror anyway. Only very.

Self-Centered

2006-07-08T08:47:00.000+08:00

Who isn't self-centered. Guess thats the reason why I too succumb to this facade for companionship and acceptance. Self-interest is now a swallow scramble for gratification. Why can't we just stop being sell-out kids and just look a little further? The whole notion of creating some blog like this just makes me re-evaluate myself. Looks like there is a teeny-bopper part of me waiting to explode onto the surface. But until then, I'm not going give crap low-downs about my fucked up life. I'm telling myself that this is just an avenue for my teen angst and to blast the shits I'm living with. But on a lighter tone, Avenged Sevenfold IS the name of that hardcore/metal band. They are really good. Wicked solos, lyrics and all. But I really like the name. The band's name is an alleged reference to the book of Genesis in the bible and the story of Cain and Abel, where Cain is punished to live in exile, alone and miserable. Anyone who relieved Cain of his misery by killing him would be "avenged sevenfold," or punished in a way that is seven times worse than Cain's punishment. So, I couldn't resist. Shouldn't be illegal right?